Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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