Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
When did angry sex become our thing?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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