gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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