Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
