So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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