I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
