he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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