have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
