saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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