hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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