Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I came so hard my ears popped.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
