The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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