everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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