So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
