That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
