ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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