he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
