Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
