btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
