Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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