We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
