U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
