it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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