btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize