we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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