She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize
