I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
