Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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