my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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