But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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