My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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