who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
