Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
What a dumb baby whore.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
