When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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