I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
