I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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