What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
