the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
