hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
