Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
