i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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