That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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