porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
