Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize