I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize