Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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