You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
