1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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