"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
