wat bout pragnant strippers??
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We had to coat check the pizza.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
