***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
