Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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