I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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