ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
