She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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