i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
