someone threw a dead crab at me
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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