oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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